Me talking about the USWNT:
I’m like 25% funny and 85% bad at math
If I ever saw one of my celebrity crushes in real life I wouldn’t approach them. Instead I would pay a homeless man twenty bucks to punch me in the face in front of them. Because based on all of the fanfiction I have read they would then rush to my aid and then invite me back to their apartment to get an ice pack and then I say something cute and witty that makes them want to kiss me and then we fall in love and get married.
I didn’t want you
to only fuck me,
I wanted you to
But I didn’t know what to
convince you with
besides my body.
WHY GERMAN IS A BEAUTIFUL LANGUAGE
Arschgeige - assviolin - a heavy insult
Fußhupe - foot horn - a small dog
Egal wie dicht du bist, Göthe war Dichter. - No matter how drunk you are, Goethe was a poet - Pun: “dichter” also translates to “more drunk”
fuchsteufelswild - foxdevilswild - really angry